I am well known amongst family and friends for being very laid back. I find I’m constantly telling my wife and other family members to relax and not worry about things so much, which more often than not makes MRs UTMT less relaxed! However, despite my laid back exterior I am prone to a little bit of stress just like anyone.
I believe it’s perfectly normal to worry/stress about things. It’s a natural instinct we all have that helps us to protect ourselves. Worry is what made our ancestors start cultivating crops, build mud huts to live in and invent things like piggy banks. If I had never felt any primal concern for mine or my families future well being the money tree would never have been planted.
Facing Facts
Recognising and understanding your concerns and worries is key to dealing with them effectively. Over the years I’ve tried to hone the things I worry about and only allow myself to stress about things I can influence. Worrying about things outside of my direct control of influence is a fruitless exercise.
I have a very close family member with a terminal illness. It’s horrible not being able to help or do something to make it better. When we first leant this new I worried myself sick about their suffering, my inability to help, what life would be like without them and a million other things.
After much soul searching I finally realised that this was just crazy behaviour which achieved nothing. Instead I should have been focussing my energies on enjoying my time with them, seeing them more, making them laugh, creating good memories and not worrying about the certainty that lie ahead.
By eliminating “uncontrollable” worries (as much as possible) I’ve found that I’m left with a lot less stress. Now most of the worries that creep into my mind seem to be connected to things I want, things I’m aiming for, my goals. Financial independence for my family is a big one. Things that prevent this from happening yesterday tend to be the sole focus of my stress these days.
I’ve talked before about suffering from investment fatigue, a general impatience towards reaching my financial goals and the pain work inflicts on my soul. I don’t consider this kind of worry to necessarily be a bad thing as it keeps me focussed on my goals and spurs me to take action to get closer to reaching them.
Clarity of Mind = Productivity
In order to operate efficiently I need to have a clear mind.
When things get manic at work and a crucial deadline gets bestowed upon me, more often than not my first reaction is to tidy my desk, recycle the stack of papers/notes that accumulates next to my keyboard and close down all the applications open on my PC.
To deliver results I need to reboot myself and my environment.
I’ve used various meditation techniques over the years in a bid to find that trigger that I can use to defuse stress, stay happy and keep productive.
After some reading around the subject I tried some traditional style meditation like Leo’s techniques but found I never really got much out of it. I have a friend that swears my headspace but again I never got past the first couple of freebie sessions. I flirted with the meditation podcast but found myself getting annoyed by it and more stressed by the end than when I started.
My Meditation
The most effective method I’ve found to de-clutter my mind and reboot my soul is through exercise. While I dabble with a bit of running and yoga (and find they both leave me feeling refreshed) there is only one thing that truly allows me to meditate. Cycling.
Last night I cycled home from the train station after work, taking a route of roughly 25km. It was dark, wet (light drizzle) and cold (5 degrees Celsius) yet I loved every second of it. I left work grumpy, stressed and generally pretty miserable, worn down by a day of battling nonsensical bureaucracy and I arrived home with a huge grin on my face, feeling at peace with the world and thankful to be me.
After the first kilometre I didn’t encounter a car the whole journey as the route I took was entirely on deserted, pitch black country lanes. I wasn’t worried about how fast I was going, which way was the shortest, how tired I was, if my legs were aching from yesterday run, I was just riding. I was just alone in the silence. Pedalling. Breathing. Moving through the darkness.
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When I ride I often have periods of a few kilometres where I suddenly realise I’ve not been ‘conscious’ that I was riding. I’m so absorbed in the rhythm of riding that my mind de-tunes itself of any distractions. I can only describe this as a meditative state. Sure there are endorphins at play and the physical effort gives me a boost but the benefit I get is greater than the sum of those two parts.
Over the last couple of years I’ve ridden my fixed gear bike more and more. Essentially a fixed gear bike is one with no gears or freewheel. This means I can’t coast, free wheel or rest. If the bike is moving my legs are turning, my speed becomes more constant, muscle memory takes over, I become more conscious of my bike and I moving together. I find the fixed wheel adds a constant rhythm and repetition to my riding that only encourages this meditative like state.
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Sure, some days it’s a struggle to get motivated to ride or my body complains. It’s not always perfect. However usually I get these magic moments when the brain stops thinking, I get lost in my mind, the pedals seem to turn themselves and the bike just carries me forward. I don’t hear the wind, the birds, the traffic, just the sound of rubber humming along on tarmac and the breath between my ears.
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Mrs UTMT strongly recognises the mental benefits I get from cycling and will from time to time send me out to ride for an hour or two if I’m getting restless or grouchy. I regularly rise at 5am on a Saturday or Sunday to squeeze a ride in and fix my brain so I can get the most from the weekend.
Being financially independent at some point in the future will ultimately give me more time to cycle. I can’t begin to imagine how good I’ll feel when I no longer have the work related meh preying on my mind and I can dedicate more time to my meditation.
What do you do to get you mind right?
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